The most valuable thing we've ever gotten out of therapy was when and doctor asked, "What is the worst thing that can happen?"
Jumping to conclusions is one of those things our brains do to help us figure out survival. It's your thoughts.
When you have anxiety, negative thoughts can increase your worry or fear. Changing negative thought patterns may not be easy. But our minds can be trained to be stronger and healthier—just like a muscle. A technique called thought reframing can help.
Jumping to conclusions is one of those things our brains do to help us figure out survival. It's your thoughts.
When you have anxiety, negative thoughts can increase your worry or fear. Changing negative thought patterns may not be easy. But our minds can be trained to be stronger and healthier—just like a muscle. A technique called thought reframing can help.
Perception
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Countless books include catastrophic consequences of perceptions, or the way someone thinks things are, as the plot.
Whether the narrator has omitted information or a character is unaware of their role in a bigger situation, books have taught us that perception isn't always reality. As avid readers, we've noticed that questioning our perception is tricky. Human beings have a really strong ability to make connections and recognize patterns. A lot of the time the patterns and connections we make are helpful and good, (when we burn our hand on a sparkler we make a connection between the sparkler and the burn, then we don’t burn our hand on the sparkler again). But sometimes we make connections between things that are unrelated (I don’t do as well as my friend in spelling in 3rd grade so I must be bad at spelling). Once we believe something, whether or not it’s true, we look for additional evidence in the world around us to back up our beliefs. This is called confirmation bias. |
If I believe that I’m bad at spelling then I’ll look for examples of when I can’t (or don’t want to) do spelling to prove to myself that I am in fact bad at spelling.
The way we perceive the world around us has a huge impact on our actions and behavior. Being trapped inside a false-perception of reality has consequences.
It is a slippery slope, however. If you have anxiety, you tend to question your perception when it's positive until you get the negative conclusion you "suspected." In these situations, you will need to work on your coping skills and your mindset.
It's important to conduct investigations, but you have to figure out if your thoughts are cognitive distortions.
The way we perceive the world around us has a huge impact on our actions and behavior. Being trapped inside a false-perception of reality has consequences.
It is a slippery slope, however. If you have anxiety, you tend to question your perception when it's positive until you get the negative conclusion you "suspected." In these situations, you will need to work on your coping skills and your mindset.
It's important to conduct investigations, but you have to figure out if your thoughts are cognitive distortions.
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What are Cognitive Distortions??Cognitive distortions are fancy words to say "negative thoughts" or "not so great things you tell yourself." Our thoughts happen automatically, sometimes without our noticing, and yet they can significantly impact our mood and behavior. It's arguably the most important part of managing anxiety.
Sometimes we have negative thoughts when we are in a situation that makes us anxious. We have them after, before, or a week later when we remember it in detail and feel ashamed and want to hide under the bed for a couple weeks. |
Believing that you’re bad at spelling is an example of All or Nothing Thinking (or Black and White thinking). This is a very common cognitive distortion you can't to see shades of grey. Nobody is bad at spelling. ‘Spelling’ is a blanket term for writing words.
You can’t be bad at spelling; you either understand certain concepts and how to apply them or you don’t.
Someone who says they’re bad at spelling isn’t dealing with the many shades of grey between understanding zero spelling concepts and understanding them all (which isn't possible- there are so many languages and 'types' of spelling). The phrase ‘I’m bad at spelling’ is a distortion, it will never be true to reality no matter who says it or why.
Whenever the negative thoughts pop up, it's important to remember that these are not unique thoughts that only happen to you.
They happen to so many people, that scientists created categories.
Here are the main categories of "cognitive distortions:"
Black and White Thinking
Black and white thinking means seeing everything in extremes; there is no room for the middle ground and you see everything as all or none. Whatever the issue, there are no shades of gray when you are thinking this way. People are right or wrong and situations are good or bad.
Mental Filtering
Mental filtering means only seeing the negative parts of situations, or only seeing what is wrong with yourself. For example, you might leave a party only remembering that you forgot someone's name or spilled your drink, and sink into a low mood.
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Overgeneralization
Overgeneralization means believing that the results of one situation predict the results of all future situations. If your thoughts often involve the words "all," "never," "always," and "every" you might be overgeneralizing. Thoughts such as "I will always be a failure in social situations," or "Things never go well for me" are examples of how you might overgeneralize.
Jumping to Conclusions
Jumping to conclusions can involve both believing that you know what others are thinking (mind reading) and predicting the future (fortune-telling or predictive thinking). You might think things like "He must think I am boring to talk to" or "I am going to embarrass myself at this party."
Emotional Reasoning
Emotional reasoning is believing that if you feel something it must be true. You might believe that because you feel anxious, there is something in a situation to be feared. Emotional reasoning is irrational; feelings can have many causes and do not always reflect reality.
Personalizing
Personalizing involves blaming yourself for external events outside of your control. Whether you are partly to blame or not to blame at all, you believe that external events are entirely your fault. For example, your singing is the reason the song wasn't that great in the choir concert.
Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing means turning small problems into big ones or blowing things out of proportion. For example, you might think that giving a poor presentation at school is the reason you're never going to do well as an adult.
Shoulding and Musting
Shoulding and musting are types of black and white thinking. In terms of social anxiety disorder, these are Rules or Laws that we make up. These flood our brain after our brain is caught off guard, spills it's coffee, and rifles through all the things we've ever heard trying to find the appropriate response. It keeps the ones that really made an impression close to it's desk and tosses it out. The thoughts, such as "I shouldn't make a big fuss" or "I must wear everything perfect" or "I should always agree with what people say so they won't think I'm weird," end up giving us an anxiety attack.
Labeling
Labeling is a form of overgeneralization. When we make broad statements about people or situations based on specific circumstances, that's called labeling. For example, you might label someone as "bossy" because we heard them repeating the directions aggressively.
Maybe they are bossy. But maybe you see them later listening to someone else give directions and ignore it. And still label them as "bossy-do not talk." This is when labeling is not helpful.
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Magnification and Minimization
People with social anxiety disorder generally have a habit of magnifying good things about other people and minimizing good things about themselves. It is a style of thinking that goes beyond being humble; people with this thought pattern do not recognize their own good qualities and discount the bad qualities of others.
You can’t be bad at spelling; you either understand certain concepts and how to apply them or you don’t.
Someone who says they’re bad at spelling isn’t dealing with the many shades of grey between understanding zero spelling concepts and understanding them all (which isn't possible- there are so many languages and 'types' of spelling). The phrase ‘I’m bad at spelling’ is a distortion, it will never be true to reality no matter who says it or why.
Whenever the negative thoughts pop up, it's important to remember that these are not unique thoughts that only happen to you.
They happen to so many people, that scientists created categories.
Here are the main categories of "cognitive distortions:"
Black and White Thinking
Black and white thinking means seeing everything in extremes; there is no room for the middle ground and you see everything as all or none. Whatever the issue, there are no shades of gray when you are thinking this way. People are right or wrong and situations are good or bad.
Mental Filtering
Mental filtering means only seeing the negative parts of situations, or only seeing what is wrong with yourself. For example, you might leave a party only remembering that you forgot someone's name or spilled your drink, and sink into a low mood.
3
Overgeneralization
Overgeneralization means believing that the results of one situation predict the results of all future situations. If your thoughts often involve the words "all," "never," "always," and "every" you might be overgeneralizing. Thoughts such as "I will always be a failure in social situations," or "Things never go well for me" are examples of how you might overgeneralize.
Jumping to Conclusions
Jumping to conclusions can involve both believing that you know what others are thinking (mind reading) and predicting the future (fortune-telling or predictive thinking). You might think things like "He must think I am boring to talk to" or "I am going to embarrass myself at this party."
Emotional Reasoning
Emotional reasoning is believing that if you feel something it must be true. You might believe that because you feel anxious, there is something in a situation to be feared. Emotional reasoning is irrational; feelings can have many causes and do not always reflect reality.
Personalizing
Personalizing involves blaming yourself for external events outside of your control. Whether you are partly to blame or not to blame at all, you believe that external events are entirely your fault. For example, your singing is the reason the song wasn't that great in the choir concert.
Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing means turning small problems into big ones or blowing things out of proportion. For example, you might think that giving a poor presentation at school is the reason you're never going to do well as an adult.
Shoulding and Musting
Shoulding and musting are types of black and white thinking. In terms of social anxiety disorder, these are Rules or Laws that we make up. These flood our brain after our brain is caught off guard, spills it's coffee, and rifles through all the things we've ever heard trying to find the appropriate response. It keeps the ones that really made an impression close to it's desk and tosses it out. The thoughts, such as "I shouldn't make a big fuss" or "I must wear everything perfect" or "I should always agree with what people say so they won't think I'm weird," end up giving us an anxiety attack.
Labeling
Labeling is a form of overgeneralization. When we make broad statements about people or situations based on specific circumstances, that's called labeling. For example, you might label someone as "bossy" because we heard them repeating the directions aggressively.
Maybe they are bossy. But maybe you see them later listening to someone else give directions and ignore it. And still label them as "bossy-do not talk." This is when labeling is not helpful.
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Magnification and Minimization
People with social anxiety disorder generally have a habit of magnifying good things about other people and minimizing good things about themselves. It is a style of thinking that goes beyond being humble; people with this thought pattern do not recognize their own good qualities and discount the bad qualities of others.
The Roots of Cognitive Distortions
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Core BeliefsRemember in Inside Out when her core memories were getting all messed up? It's pretty much the same idea.
You have Core Beliefs about yourself and the world that act like a weird set of laws. Those Core Beliefs produce the cognitive distortions or negative thoughts In The Moment. Then you melt down. The laws or rules that you made up for yourself are causing a complete anxiety attack. Identifying the negative thoughts as part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps you figure out those Core Beliefs or laws. It's important to write down your negative thoughts about situations that give you anxiety so you can figure out your core beliefs. Here's the worst thing we found out during this process: Those Core Beliefs are A LOT like the memories in the movie Inside Out. They can be corrupted by your emotions. And they come from unusual places. |
Our brains are hardwired for certain things, but EVERYTHING influences the information that is stored.
Core beliefs are part imagination, part things you heard on TV or from other random people or your family, part things you learned in school, from other kids, or screen times, part things you've seen (like reacting with anger or hitting) in-person or on screens, part things your friends said or did, part things you read in a book at the library while you were waiting.
If it made a big impression, it takes up more space.
But remember, sometimes our brain is caught off guard or tired. So it jumps right to a conclusion that gives you anxiety, like "I don't see my mom so she must have forgot because sometimes she forgets her grocery list at the store" and "I'm not safe because I can't see my mom and once I saw something about kidnapping" and "I'm in trouble because my mom gets upset when I wander" so you panic.
These thoughts should be written down once you feel safe.
Harmful common core beliefs usually come in the form of absolutist “I am …,” “People are …,” and “The world is …” statements.
Eventually you'll arrive at a Core Belief, like "I am not able to take care of myself" or "People are mean" or "The world is scary."
Judith Beck, a psychologist who has done a lot of research on CBT, identifies 3 main categories for Core Beliefs:
Once you have identified negative thoughts, look for a pattern or theme.
These thoughts are the babies of the Core Beliefs. Then you can start reframing your Core Beliefs.
Also notice your positive Core Beliefs, because these can help with positive reframing, especially In the Moment.
Core beliefs are part imagination, part things you heard on TV or from other random people or your family, part things you learned in school, from other kids, or screen times, part things you've seen (like reacting with anger or hitting) in-person or on screens, part things your friends said or did, part things you read in a book at the library while you were waiting.
If it made a big impression, it takes up more space.
But remember, sometimes our brain is caught off guard or tired. So it jumps right to a conclusion that gives you anxiety, like "I don't see my mom so she must have forgot because sometimes she forgets her grocery list at the store" and "I'm not safe because I can't see my mom and once I saw something about kidnapping" and "I'm in trouble because my mom gets upset when I wander" so you panic.
These thoughts should be written down once you feel safe.
Harmful common core beliefs usually come in the form of absolutist “I am …,” “People are …,” and “The world is …” statements.
Eventually you'll arrive at a Core Belief, like "I am not able to take care of myself" or "People are mean" or "The world is scary."
Judith Beck, a psychologist who has done a lot of research on CBT, identifies 3 main categories for Core Beliefs:
- Helplessness
- Unlovability
- Worthlessness
Once you have identified negative thoughts, look for a pattern or theme.
These thoughts are the babies of the Core Beliefs. Then you can start reframing your Core Beliefs.
Also notice your positive Core Beliefs, because these can help with positive reframing, especially In the Moment.
Reframing
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What can we do when we catch ourselves engaging in cognitive distortions?
There are a number of effective, evidence-based techniques and practices for Cognitive Reframing. The first step in all of these techniques and practices is to first identify what distortions you're using. Read More by clicking on the link. |
Thoughts, Actions, Emotions
Identifying and reframing negative thoughts and Core Beliefs is just one part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety. You also have to identify emotions and actions. Follow the links to explore.
You also should keep track of your triggers, or the situations that set off your alarms, and what your body is doing in the situation. Follow the links to learn more.
You also should keep track of your triggers, or the situations that set off your alarms, and what your body is doing in the situation. Follow the links to learn more.
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