1.) Helping- when you are able to help someone else, you feel confident. Learn more by clicking on Kindness.
2.) Identify your strengths- it might feel a little silly to tell yourself how great you are, but that's what you have to do sometimes. As you change and grow, it's good to have a check-in with yourself about what makes you awesome. Learn more by clicking on Character Traits. 3.) Social Skills- learning how to communicate helps you feel confident. In fact, communication skills are the backbone of learning how to manage social anxiety. For example, If you teach yourself how to be assertive (speaking up for yourself), you can feel confident in your abilities to communicate. Learn more by clicking on Communication. 4.) Being Creative- creativity is a really fun way to build self-esteem. With creativity, there is no right or wrong way. Even if it's just mixing colors or organizing your desk, leaving a mark on the world helps you feel more confident. Click on Creativity to learn more. 5.) Work on being resilient- being resilient means you can bounce back from failures, mistakes, or setbacks. In order to do this, you have to believe that the obstacles you face are chances to learn. Click on Resiliency to learn more. 6.) Work on a Growth Mindset- having a growth mindset means you're people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. Click on Growth Mindset to learn more. 7.) Remember emotions are temporary- Emotions you feel that lead to anxiety, anger, stress, or fear that hold you back from taking action are only temporary. Once the emotion wave subsides, you can make your next move. Click on Feelings to learn more. |
Self-Compassion and Challenging False Beliefs About YourselfCompassion is the ability to understand the feelings of others and act with kindness. It plays an important role in our relationships and our well-being.
Self-compassion is just as important. When we have self-compassion, we can recognize our emotions and respond in a caring way. Self-compassion is essential to having a healthy relationship with ourselves. It has many mental health benefits. When we say nasty mean things to ourselves, it's called self-criticism. For a bunch a different reasons, those of us with anxiety have a really loud and obnoxious self-criticism voice in our heads. It's constantly telling us we can't. Sometimes we feel like we have to talk this way because it motivates us. But next time your voice starts being mean ask some questions. Challenge the voice. Learn more here: Self- Compassion. |
You can't stop negative thoughts, and sometimes you shouldn't.
Emotions are natural and valid. But you have to decide if they are helpful and that's the hardest part. Dealing with negative thoughts is the cornerstone of dealing with anxiety. When you are feeling anxious, it's important to track the negative thoughts and turn them around to retrain your brain. This is called reframing, and it's the heart of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Those negative thoughts are rooted in core beliefs, OR can become core beliefs. Just like core memories from Inside Out (don't tell me you didn't think of that when you read "core thoughts"), the core beliefs about yourself are the basis for all of your feelings about situations. With CBT, you track your negative thoughts to shake out the core belief that needs to be rewritten. But what about those negative thoughts when you're not feeling anxious? Just like Daily Practice for mindfulness, you have to practice letting go of negative thoughts. 1. Stop and Remember Remember that your thoughts are not your thoughts forever. That's just how you feel right now. Remember that your thoughts are information your brain filed under "what to do in this situation." Your brain might have learned them from a movie or from overhearing someone else say it. Remember that the negative thought is there to protect you even though it makes you feel bad. 2. Think about why and say it out loud Why are you thinking these things? Was there an event that caused it? Are you tired or hungry and short tempered? You can say it out loud or in your head or you can write it down. Say the thought and the reason. 3. Ask yourself, then what? It helps to ask "then what?" after a negative thought to shake out next steps. If you forget about a test and you're worried you'll fail, you would say: "OMG I forgot about the test and I'm going to fail. Then what?" You want to get to the bottom of your fears or worries so you can prove that it's not as terrible as you think it is. 4. Let it ride and then solve your problem. Negative thoughts aren't wrong. Everyone has them. Sometimes it helps to just feel them. If you lost someone or something, feel the grief. If you were hurt or bullied, feel those feelings. Like a wave in the ocean, the feelings will grow bigger sometimes. Let them. Because soon they will fade away. Once the feelings start to fade, you should get to work. If it's not hunger or being tired, how can you fix it? If something happened that led to the thoughts, can you fix it? Are you having a sad day? Can you figure it out on your own or do you need help? Identify the situation that led to the negative thoughts, and then work on solving it. 5. Reframe and retrain. Reframing help you shift your mindset and point of view, allowing you to see a situation, person, or relationship from a healthier point of view. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps with this. Click on the ABC's of CBT for more info. |