Benchmarks for Middle SchoolMiddle School used to be a nightmare of emotions. In recent years, researchers, administrators, and teachers (they already knew tbh) have elevated the value of social emotional learning.
CASEL created the core competencies and several organizations took the ball and ran with it. The most notable (and easy to read and links FOR DAYS) was City Year, a unique organization based in New York. City Year specifically researched middle grade connections between acedemics and social emotional learning and support. Their research was invaluable to us as moved to a new state with a child approaching middle school. Her anxiety was through the roof. Covid-19 hit mid-second grade, and almost no one she grew up with went back to the same school. When she was in 3rd grade, we started therapy. It was an experience. We rolled up our sleeves and started researching and working on things. After 4th grade, we moved across the country tired of waiting for things to go back to the way they were. New place, fresh start. The anxiety got worse. 5th grade was our full blown social anxiety year. It started to feel like the more we worked on it, the worse it got. Mom died a little inside thinking all the work made it worse. But the research doesn't lie. |
We worked each core competency into our approach, folding in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and came up with the workbook. Click on the box for a description of each competency.
We used research, curriculum, therapy, sweat and tears to work throughout a program that works for us. Click here for the chart. |
Sorting out the skills
For someone with social anxiety there are barbed wires littered all through these skills.
If self-awareness is understanding your emotions and thoughts and how they influence your behavior, then you're not getting far with social anxiety.
So we knew getting into this that identifying emotions, self-perception, recognizing strengths, self-confidence, and self-efficacy* would be areas of focus.
*Self-efficacy is the belief in your ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplishment of a task. Kind of really important to managing social anxiety.
Self-Management is the ability to regulate your emotions and behaviors in different situations and to set and work toward goals. This is the framework for dealing with social anxiety and developing all the other skills. You will need to use executive function and self-regulation, stress-management, and self-discipline.
*Executive function and self-regulation are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. Our brains need this skill set to filter distractions, prioritize tasks, set and achieve goals, and control impulses. These muscles need to be strong to follow through on managing social anxiety.
Responsible Decision-Making is the ability to make positive choices and take responsibility for positive and negative outcomes. You are identifying problems, analyzing situations, solving problems, and reflecting. With anxiety management, you have to be able to use these skills to help you with the self-awareness skills.
Social Awareness is the ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others. We have noticed the commonality among people with social anxiety that we feel so much empathy for others that it hurts to think people would be unkind. It produces the fear that we might also be subjected to that callousness or insensitivity. Science is still on the fence.
Nonetheless, working on how you connect with people is a hurdle you have to jump in order to manage the anxiety. You can do this through empathy, appreciating differences, and respect.
Relationship Skills are the ability to establish and maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with others. Skills like communicating clearly, listening, cooperation, resisting negative pressure, resolving conflicts, and supporting one another probably aren't difficult to learn, but they do require practice. Practicing these skills is what you should be doing for long-term management of social anxiety.
If self-awareness is understanding your emotions and thoughts and how they influence your behavior, then you're not getting far with social anxiety.
So we knew getting into this that identifying emotions, self-perception, recognizing strengths, self-confidence, and self-efficacy* would be areas of focus.
*Self-efficacy is the belief in your ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplishment of a task. Kind of really important to managing social anxiety.
Self-Management is the ability to regulate your emotions and behaviors in different situations and to set and work toward goals. This is the framework for dealing with social anxiety and developing all the other skills. You will need to use executive function and self-regulation, stress-management, and self-discipline.
*Executive function and self-regulation are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. Our brains need this skill set to filter distractions, prioritize tasks, set and achieve goals, and control impulses. These muscles need to be strong to follow through on managing social anxiety.
Responsible Decision-Making is the ability to make positive choices and take responsibility for positive and negative outcomes. You are identifying problems, analyzing situations, solving problems, and reflecting. With anxiety management, you have to be able to use these skills to help you with the self-awareness skills.
Social Awareness is the ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others. We have noticed the commonality among people with social anxiety that we feel so much empathy for others that it hurts to think people would be unkind. It produces the fear that we might also be subjected to that callousness or insensitivity. Science is still on the fence.
Nonetheless, working on how you connect with people is a hurdle you have to jump in order to manage the anxiety. You can do this through empathy, appreciating differences, and respect.
Relationship Skills are the ability to establish and maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with others. Skills like communicating clearly, listening, cooperation, resisting negative pressure, resolving conflicts, and supporting one another probably aren't difficult to learn, but they do require practice. Practicing these skills is what you should be doing for long-term management of social anxiety.
How we used the skills
When coming up with the way to work out a program for our social anxiety, we organized the information according to the competencies.
We wanted to make sure the expectations were age-appropriate.
We wanted to make sure the expectations were age-appropriate.
If Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was the outline, the rest was the core competencies. You are learning how the brain works, who you are and what is important to you, and how to develop these skills that elude you at these ages. It's imperative to do it in the right order.
We decided that Identify, Chill, Plan and Unleash was the right order to present the information. You can learn more here by clicking on the social anxiety box. You are learning how the brain works, who you are and what is important to you, and how to develop these skills that elude you at these ages. It's imperative to do it in the right order.
We decided that Identify, Chill, Plan and Unleash was the right order to present the information. You can learn more here by clicking on the social anxiety box. You are learning how the brain works, who you are and what is important to you, and how to develop these skills that elude you at these ages. It's imperative to do it in the right order.
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