Who you are as an individual and who you are in different groups might be different. Learn More about Social Identity by clicking on the Social Identity box.
While belonging to social groups is an important part of who we are (and helps us practice our Plan, click on the link if you don't have one yet!), we still have control over how we define ourselves and what parts of our identities we want to show off over others. |
What it it?Answering the question, "who am I?" is something you will do a lot while you're growing up. Some of us still ask that question as adults!
Exploring your personal identity is working to understand who you are at your core, and become aware of what makes you YOU. What do you like? What do you dislike? What do you value? What are the important parts of your culture to you? Have any parts of your identity changed in any way? When you understand your own identity, you will be more self-aware and confident, which leads to better self-esteem. You also learn one of the biggest lessons- “Different people do different things in different ways.” This helps to decenter you, or take the spotlight off of you, which can take the pressure off of Social Anxiety Personal identity refers to the unique ways that you think of yourself. Your personal identity is one of the keys to feeling confident that you can manage anxiety. Knowing who you are and what you value is important to knowing what you can achieve! |
Your Development
When you don't define who you are and what you stand for, you will run into bigger problems down the road. Having a personal identity doesn’t mean that we act the same all the time. We might be moody, or act differently under stress or in certain situations. Your personal identity is who you are and what you stand for. It grounds you. It helps you make good choices in life. If you understand yourself, it’s easier to know what makes you happy. You can set goals that fit with who you are. Both anxiety and depression can make the typical identity crisis of teenage years way harder. Developmental psychologist Erik Erikson coined the term ‘identity crisis’. He theorized there are 8 stages of development that build on each other. The environment a child grows up in is crucial to forming their sense of self awareness and self. Here are 3 stages in the middle of your development defined by Erikson: Initiative vs. Guilt
Age developed: 3 to 5 years In this stage, we learn to assert ourselves in social settings. If we succeed, we will develop initiative and generally feel more capable. If we fail, we’ll generally be left with more guilt and self-doubt. Industry vs. Inferiority Age developed: 6 to 11 years If we’re encouraged to improve our abilities and if our accomplishments are commended, we’re likely to develop a sense of confidence. If we’re discouraged and/or ridiculed by parents, teachers, or peers, we’re more likely to doubt our abilities. Identity vs. Confusion Age developed: 12 to 18 years In our teenage years, we can receive affirmation of our ideals, values, and sense of self or we can receive various forms of derision and rejection. Those who have their sense of self positively reinforced develop stronger feelings of independence and control. Those who don’t receive positive reinforcement end up with more insecurity and remain confused about themselves and their future. People with a strong sense of self trust their own judgement. They also feel confident about themselves! Especially as a kid, those who have a clear sense of self cope better with stress and problems.
Personal Identity is important for your development to avoid bigger issues down the road! |
Your Brain
Anxiety can be consuming, or a really big part of our lives. It can force us to make choices that we regret (not trying things) or tell us what we can and cannot do each day (you can't wear your favorite jeans because once you heard someone say those types of jeans were so last year). When we're anxious as kids, our brain processes the stress as part of who we are. At its worst, "you centered" stress can be really frustrating and sometimes scary. It happens because of that "you" area in the brain: the medial frontal gyrus (MFG). The brain has a default for stress: it automatically jumps straight to "it's about you." So, if being around new people feels stressful, your brain translates that into "it's because of you." Below the MFG are the negative emotion areas. On one side are evaluative areas. On the other side are the attention areas. It's a clustered network of brain regions that fire together, so that any time a stressful situation happens, it is automatically considered:
This structure of the brain can lead to shifting your attention back to the anxiety, over and over again, leading to a dysregulated emotion-based processing. It's interesting to know why your brain makes you think stressful situations feel over the top emotional. It causes you to jump to terrible conclusions and think the events are directly related to you. Knowing your identity thinks anxiety is a part of who you are means it takes work to change it. You'll need positive coping skills, self-esteem, self-efficacy, and perspective to change that connection. Most of all you'll need to outline your personal identity to remind your brain that you are not anxiety. |
Repeat this often, use it as a mantra, tattoo it on your forehead (just kidding, don't do that):
You deserve to feel confident in your choices. You deserve to be told you're doing a great job. You deserve to surround yourself with people who appreciate you and want you to be happy. When you know your values and beliefs, you can choose to be around people who support you. Use the Mind Mapping Worksheet (linked on the Mind Map page) by clicking on the box. |