What Identify Means
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When we first started this journey, we identified resources like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help us work through our feelings.
Everything we read and therapist we visited told us to IDENTIFY: Identify our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. We were also curious to see what the research says about Social Anxiety in kids. The trouble with social anxiety or general anxiety in kids is that it feels like the thoughts don't always come before the feelings. And as parents with anxiety, we knew that just "reading the research and going to therapy" approach were both too broad and too time-consuming, and everyone who lives in this country understands that time and money aren't things we can waste. In the process, with jobs and school and covid and big life changes, we realized that this is a big, complicated, commitment. |
It would really be helpful if this was just about identifying and eliminating negative thoughts and feelings like a diet.
But it's not.
It's a fascinating journey to dig deep into Core Beliefs and Reframe the rules you've made yourself.
For our children, who are dealing with big emotions and not quite sure how to process them, walking through this process needs to be part of everything in their life from school, to home, to out in the world.
So we compiled all the things we knew, did some more research, consulted with our therapists, and came up with a workbook that works for us.
You can use our resources and walk through our timeline by using our workbook or becoming a member.
But it's not.
It's a fascinating journey to dig deep into Core Beliefs and Reframe the rules you've made yourself.
For our children, who are dealing with big emotions and not quite sure how to process them, walking through this process needs to be part of everything in their life from school, to home, to out in the world.
So we compiled all the things we knew, did some more research, consulted with our therapists, and came up with a workbook that works for us.
You can use our resources and walk through our timeline by using our workbook or becoming a member.
There were a lot of things that we, as parents, didn't connect to our anxiety. Behaviors, Feelings, Thoughts, and Coping Skills can look like not listening, talking over others, quick tempers, big reactions, sadness, defiance, and even bullying.
We knew the signs of social anxiety because mom is socially anxious. We saw the behaviors in our eldest daughter when she was 2! She would play dead like a fainting goat.
But our sons reacted differently. It looked like aggression and clinging, defiance, not listening, and the inability to focus. Learn more about social anxiety by clicking on the box.
Learn more about how to root out the causes and solutions through the parts of Identify below.
We knew the signs of social anxiety because mom is socially anxious. We saw the behaviors in our eldest daughter when she was 2! She would play dead like a fainting goat.
But our sons reacted differently. It looked like aggression and clinging, defiance, not listening, and the inability to focus. Learn more about social anxiety by clicking on the box.
Learn more about how to root out the causes and solutions through the parts of Identify below.
Research
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Scientists have learned some stuff about the brain that helps us figure out why we're anxious and what is actually happening when our faces turn red, all we can hear is our heart beating and our brain telling us the worst things possible, we start sweating and feel lightheaded. In the past 10 years, more studies have been conducted to find better therapy treatments for kids. But it's still unchartered territory.
Read more research by clicking on the box. |
Feelings
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Identifying feelings and emotions is the first step in understanding why you are anxious and how you can change it. The next step is to identify your thoughts and then your actions. Once you can identify your feelings, thoughts, and actions, you put on your investigator jacket and start to investigate how your thoughts, feelings, and actions are related using CBT.
Read more about Feelings by clicking on the box. |
Emotional Regulation
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When we're socially anxious, we’re afraid we’ll be criticized, embarrassed, rejected, or abandoned. So, we play it safe. We stick to the coping skills we've perfected. We really work hard and lash out because we work so hard to keep our "bad feelings and behaviors" in check.
We try to be agreeable. We stuff our feelings, needs, and opinions (especially if we think they’re disagreeable or inconvenient) down. Find out more by clicking on the box. |
ABC's of CBT
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If thoughts, feelings and actions sound familiar, then you might have heard of a little thing called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If you haven't or if you'd like to learn more and see how we used it in our workbook, click on the box.
Taking time to sit and reflect on your feelings, thoughts, and actions is a big part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). That's just a big fancy word for making connections and making some edits in the way your brain deals with stuff. |
Triggers
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What makes you anxious? Situations that make us anxious feel like walking through thorny bushes. It's uncomfortable, painful, and requires a lot of effort. And just when you think you got it, you get snarled and feel all the feelings.
You can learn more about what to do about these thorny bushes by clicking on the box. |
Thoughts
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Jumping to conclusions is one of those things our brains do to help us figure out survival. It's your thoughts.
When you have anxiety, negative thoughts can increase your worry or fear. Changing negative thought patterns may not be easy. But our minds can be trained to be stronger and healthier—just like a muscle. Learn what to do with your thoughts by clicking on the box. |
Reframing
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Here's the thing about thoughts. We assume that because they came from our brain, they are our original thoughts and so they must be true.
Guess what? Even though you are a super smart person who knows many things about many things, not all of your thoughts are unique. Learn more about thoughts and how to deal with them by clicking on the box. |
Actions
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Coping is another word for Dealing With It. How do you deal with situations that make you anxious?
Do you avoid thinking about situations that make you uncomfortable? Do you ignore the bad grade you got on the test? Do you pretend the fight didn't happen? Do you avoid going to certain places or doing certain things because it makes you too anxious? Learn more about Actions by clicking on the box. |
Critical Thinking
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Most importantly, for anxiety, critical thinking is a life hack. It can help you change your perspective. The hardest thing with anxiety is breaking those negative thoughts patterns and finding a different way of looking at situations.
Learn more about problem solving and Bias by clicking on the box. |
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