Activities to encourage empathyTalk about characters
Read more advanced books and engage in high-level discussions about what the characters think, believe, want, and feel. How do we know? Teamwork Work together towards a goal. Praise everyone's contribution and celebrate the win (or the loss) together. Volunteer Find a charity or community organization that you believe is doing good work. Volunteer together and stress the importance of contributing. Discuss Current Events Read the news together and discuss the reasons people feel strongly about an issue or event. Practice Empathic Listening: 
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Empathy and Social AnxietyFirst thing to know is that science is on the fence about it. We're scientists. We believe in science.
We also have social anxiety. We personally know that people with social anxiety cannot be more empathic. We are the ones who notice everything. We see tiny clues in facial expressions and words and actions. We hear every mean and wonderful thing that is said. If you tell us a beautiful or sad story, we will cry. If you tell us about injustice we will be angry and want to help. If you tell us a story with a happy ending, we will feel elated. But all of it goes into our brain's hyper sensitive alarm system as new reason to trigger and to run and hide. It's exhausting. The trouble starts when our own feelings supercede our ability to be empathic. Our fear that we may be in the spotlight discourages us from standing up and speaking out. When we are unable to manage our emotions and access our logical brain, we cannot show empathy. It's a vicious cycle that can spiral with negative self-talk. It's important to get in front of self-awareness and self-management, because dealing with being afraid to speak up for ourselves and for others will make us feel badly about ourselves. Learn more about Self-Awareness, Self Management at each age or Social Anxiety by clicking on the links below. |
Empathic Listening is HARD. But you know that practice makes perfect!
Empathic Listening is especially hard with anxiety because you're actively trying to participate by rehearsing what you should say and mimicking non-verbal communication. You can't really hear what is being said because you're in you head trying to figure out what is the right thing to say and do??!
You might also be afraid that your response is not what the other person is looking for and you will blow it.
In this way, you appear to be the opposite of empathic. You appear to be not really listening at all.
But, here's the thing: all you have to do is listen.
Here are ways to practice:
1. Don't worry about offering opinions or solutions– concentrate on not talking while the other person is talking
Empathic Listening is especially hard with anxiety because you're actively trying to participate by rehearsing what you should say and mimicking non-verbal communication. You can't really hear what is being said because you're in you head trying to figure out what is the right thing to say and do??!
You might also be afraid that your response is not what the other person is looking for and you will blow it.
In this way, you appear to be the opposite of empathic. You appear to be not really listening at all.
But, here's the thing: all you have to do is listen.
Here are ways to practice:
1. Don't worry about offering opinions or solutions– concentrate on not talking while the other person is talking
2. Pause. Take a breath (you can find some good ideas In the Moment Strategies link). Think about their perspective. Try to imagine that you are them. This will allow you to really listen and think about how they feel.
3. When the other person stops talking, try to paraphrase or translate what he or she said – this is reflecting what you believe you have heard. This allows you to know whether you are understanding what they are saying.
4. Maintain good eye contact and pay attention while looking directly at them.
5. Pay attention to what their face and body are saying. This is non-verbal communication. You can communicate non-verbally with encouraging body language (such as nodding).
6. Identify or reflect the speaker’s feelings. You can say "you sound angry,” or “you seem to be upset.”
3. When the other person stops talking, try to paraphrase or translate what he or she said – this is reflecting what you believe you have heard. This allows you to know whether you are understanding what they are saying.
4. Maintain good eye contact and pay attention while looking directly at them.
5. Pay attention to what their face and body are saying. This is non-verbal communication. You can communicate non-verbally with encouraging body language (such as nodding).
6. Identify or reflect the speaker’s feelings. You can say "you sound angry,” or “you seem to be upset.”
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