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Have you ever been told to “just relax?” Eye roll. Of course we'd like to relax! But anyone who has felt panic or extreme anxiety knows “just” relaxing is much easier said than done.
We all would like to spend more time feeling relaxed, but relaxation skills are not always the right skills to improve our anxiety in the long run. Relaxation strategies are just one set of skills used in CBT. One important CBT skill is knowing when to use certain techniques, so we want to know when relaxation strategies are or are not helpful for us. Other CBT skills, like exposure and cognitive skills, are just as important. With Daily Practice, you are training the physical reaction in your body. But your body is reacting to your thoughts and feelings and then your thoughts and feelings react to your body. Along with your physical body reactions, you have to address your thoughts through reframing, and your feelings through emotional regulation. Relaxation skills reduce muscle tension, slow down breathing, and calm the mind. Relaxation skills can be structured; examples are slow diaphragmatic breathing, meditation, and yoga. Other ways, like self-care and doing activities you love, are also helpful to make us feel more relaxed. Here we’ll explore some of these strategies, explaining how they are used and why they work: |
Meditation & Yoga
Often, anxiety focuses on worries about the past or fear of the future. By practicing mindfulness, you learn to ground yourself in the present moment by focusing on your breathing and noticing your surroundings. Just spending a few minutes being mindful can prevent your anxious thoughts from taking over.
On your ownSelf guided exercises are a great way to jump start a routine. A lot of apps and videos are 10-15 or even 30 minutes long! Yeah okay with an 8 year old, good luck!
Just like physical exercise, you should start SLOW. Try to start with 3-5 minute activities. Build up to the 30 minutes. Click on the The Feeling Exercise to download 6 idea flashcards. 
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ResourcesWe've tried out some videos and apps and here are some that we like.
When the third baby arrived, we needed an activity we trusted that allowed us to leave the big kids alone for 15-20 minutes to just chill out. We tried these and loved them:
Cosmic Kids- Just amazing. It's free on you tube (with commercials) and I found it on Prime years ago. It's yoga, meditation, and stretching told as a story. When I looked it up, they have a paid app now that may be worth it because it is really just happy.
Cahhlm Classes- They have some great free videos on youtube (under the Mindfulness Teacher), and you can buy resources on their website. The animation is simple and effective. Mental Up- free videos and a paid app. The videos are great because older kids who claim to not like "baby videos" can engage. Headspace: you can go to their website, or download their app. From their website: Looking for easy guided meditation for kids? We created Headspace for Kids in the Headspace app to help children be healthy and happy, not just for now, but for the rest of their lives.
Calm: We still pay for this app. Both big kids (between 8-13) and parents use it. It has guided meditations, and you can choose a path. Some of the offerings can be a little long, so you have to make sure to choose a meditation that is appropriate for their age level. **A little tip we learned from the Pre-K teacher that worked like a charm for the early years was turning on "soundscapes" on Music Choice (cable) and reading a book slowly. When we cut the cable, we just googled "soundscapes" because apparently it's a thing. |
Exercise
There are so many physical benefits to getting enough exercise, but it can improve your mental health, too. Exercise regulates your brain’s response to stress and alleviates feelings of anxiety almost immediately.
Exercise makes brain chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins are the brain's feel-good neurotransmitters. You can leave your comfort zone and get active to train your physical reaction.
According to some studies, regular exercise works as well as medication for some people to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, and the effects can be long lasting. One vigorous exercise session can help alleviate symptoms for hours, and a regular schedule may significantly reduce them over time.
Exercise can provide stress relief for your body while imitating effects of stress, such as the flight or fight response, and helping your body and its systems practice working together through those effects. See some ideas by clicking on Move!
Exercise makes brain chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins are the brain's feel-good neurotransmitters. You can leave your comfort zone and get active to train your physical reaction.
According to some studies, regular exercise works as well as medication for some people to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, and the effects can be long lasting. One vigorous exercise session can help alleviate symptoms for hours, and a regular schedule may significantly reduce them over time.
Exercise can provide stress relief for your body while imitating effects of stress, such as the flight or fight response, and helping your body and its systems practice working together through those effects. See some ideas by clicking on Move!
Be Grateful
Gratitude can do wonders for your mental health, especially in moments when you’re feeling anxious.
By choosing to be grateful, you can shift your perspective and keep your anxious thoughts in check.
Practicing gratitude can take your mind away from worry and allow you to focus on the good things in your life rather than the negative fears. Like Mindfulness, gratitude combats negative thinking patterns by keeping thoughts focused on the present.
If you find yourself focusing on negative thoughts about the past or future, challenge yourself to find something you are grateful for now.
Click on Gratitude for more resources.
By choosing to be grateful, you can shift your perspective and keep your anxious thoughts in check.
Practicing gratitude can take your mind away from worry and allow you to focus on the good things in your life rather than the negative fears. Like Mindfulness, gratitude combats negative thinking patterns by keeping thoughts focused on the present.
If you find yourself focusing on negative thoughts about the past or future, challenge yourself to find something you are grateful for now.
Click on Gratitude for more resources.
Be Creative
Creativity help to fight anxiety because they activate the parts of your brain that process emotions. Music and art, for example, help to calm brain activity and allow the individual to feel a sense of emotional harmony.
Scientists are only now beginning to look at the link between creativity and anxiety disorders. It’s difficult to find why they’re linked. However, it seems that having anxiety and being creative both involve deep thought processing.
In the act of producing something new, the brain must process different pieces of information. Then it has to organize them into a workable outcome. This is also the case for problem-solving. And since the anxious brain is in a perpetual state of solving a perceived problem, it must explore a multitude of options and angles in order to understand what works and what doesn’t.
The irony, of course, is that our anxiety is the fear of being rejected. So creating is great, but showing off what you create might be really hard. Like Rosie Revere Engineer (that book hit's hard over here).
But showing off your creativity isn't the point! The point is finding something that gives you the physical reaction of being calm and relaxed or even excited and happy.
Remember coloring when you were shorter? It's that zone of creativity that helps you practice.
We like to do painting, drawing, sewing, building, and creating all types of things. Some things are tossed into recycling and some things are used (or displayed) everyday. But when we create, we listen to music and "zone out." That's the point. You can bring your sketchpad or writing journal or knitting with you and break it out when you start to feel anxious. Click on Creativity to read more.
Scientists are only now beginning to look at the link between creativity and anxiety disorders. It’s difficult to find why they’re linked. However, it seems that having anxiety and being creative both involve deep thought processing.
In the act of producing something new, the brain must process different pieces of information. Then it has to organize them into a workable outcome. This is also the case for problem-solving. And since the anxious brain is in a perpetual state of solving a perceived problem, it must explore a multitude of options and angles in order to understand what works and what doesn’t.
The irony, of course, is that our anxiety is the fear of being rejected. So creating is great, but showing off what you create might be really hard. Like Rosie Revere Engineer (that book hit's hard over here).
But showing off your creativity isn't the point! The point is finding something that gives you the physical reaction of being calm and relaxed or even excited and happy.
Remember coloring when you were shorter? It's that zone of creativity that helps you practice.
We like to do painting, drawing, sewing, building, and creating all types of things. Some things are tossed into recycling and some things are used (or displayed) everyday. But when we create, we listen to music and "zone out." That's the point. You can bring your sketchpad or writing journal or knitting with you and break it out when you start to feel anxious. Click on Creativity to read more.
Practice Self-Care
Establishing a healthy sleep routine every night is crucial to reducing your anxiety. Moms know that sleep deprivation makes anxiety turn into a huge monster because not getting enough sleep can make your symptoms so much worse.
While it might seem impossible to get a good night’s rest if your symptoms are spiking, going to bed at the same time each night and practicing other good sleep hygiene habits, like establishing a wind down routine and avoiding electronics in the evening, will help.
Self-care has become more popular than ever (hello, Pinterest pins on self care everywhere), and for plenty of good reasons! While everything listed here so far could be considered a form of self-care, treating yourself to little things every day can really make a difference with your anxiety.
Pick up a bouquet of flowers for yourself at the market or indulge in that croissant that was calling your name at the bakery. Little moments of peace and happiness can really put some perspective on your anxious thinking.
Social media has become a way of life for most people, but it can also serve as an anxiety trigger. Whether you see a news story someone posted or something a friend says makes you worry, social media isn’t always the best place to foster a sense of calm. We don't do social media for this very reason. While we're not saying you need to get rid of it completely, it’s a good idea to monitor your time and limit how often you check social media.
Click on Self-Compassion to read more.
While it might seem impossible to get a good night’s rest if your symptoms are spiking, going to bed at the same time each night and practicing other good sleep hygiene habits, like establishing a wind down routine and avoiding electronics in the evening, will help.
Self-care has become more popular than ever (hello, Pinterest pins on self care everywhere), and for plenty of good reasons! While everything listed here so far could be considered a form of self-care, treating yourself to little things every day can really make a difference with your anxiety.
Pick up a bouquet of flowers for yourself at the market or indulge in that croissant that was calling your name at the bakery. Little moments of peace and happiness can really put some perspective on your anxious thinking.
Social media has become a way of life for most people, but it can also serve as an anxiety trigger. Whether you see a news story someone posted or something a friend says makes you worry, social media isn’t always the best place to foster a sense of calm. We don't do social media for this very reason. While we're not saying you need to get rid of it completely, it’s a good idea to monitor your time and limit how often you check social media.
Click on Self-Compassion to read more.
Nature
Spending time outside is wonderful for your mental health, giving you a boost of energy and happiness. Simply stepping outdoors can help you to fight back against anxious thoughts and offer you a spike in serotonin. Even getting outside for just a few minutes a day can make a difference.
The sympathetic nervous system prepares the body for intense physical activity and is often referred to as the ‘Fight or Flight’ response. The parasympathetic nervous system has almost the exact opposite effect and relaxes the body and inhibits or slows many high energy functions, and sometimes referred to as the ‘Rest and Digest’ response.
To rest and digest, get outside!
The sympathetic nervous system prepares the body for intense physical activity and is often referred to as the ‘Fight or Flight’ response. The parasympathetic nervous system has almost the exact opposite effect and relaxes the body and inhibits or slows many high energy functions, and sometimes referred to as the ‘Rest and Digest’ response.
To rest and digest, get outside!
How to know it's working
The first thing you will notice is that you will start wearing long robes and sit criss cross applesauce with prayer hands all the time. You will then talk calmly and politely ask questions about the universe.
Just kidding.
You will know because you set a goal in PLAN, remember?
You will also feel it be reflexive, or something you do without thinking about it. We have some tips in our workbook (that walks you through the process), but really the most important thing is if you practice something, you will get better at it.
And slowly but surely, you'll realize you have the skills to deal with stressful situations that make you anxious.
The robe and polite questions are fine too!
Just kidding.
You will know because you set a goal in PLAN, remember?
You will also feel it be reflexive, or something you do without thinking about it. We have some tips in our workbook (that walks you through the process), but really the most important thing is if you practice something, you will get better at it.
And slowly but surely, you'll realize you have the skills to deal with stressful situations that make you anxious.
The robe and polite questions are fine too!
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